.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
