I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize