Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
