You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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