YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
