my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
