Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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