it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He shit in the fireplace
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
