just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize