one two three fourrrrnication!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
