a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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