what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
