just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
