This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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