The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
