Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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