I think scott just propositioned me for sex
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
