I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just pee around me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
