I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize