i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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