should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
