she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
