..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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