Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
