dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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