I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I could fuck to npr.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
