His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
