careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize