You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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