I cannot find my penis.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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