I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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