That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
