It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
