He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
