They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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