We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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