BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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