You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize