if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize