We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
