OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
