I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far