Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

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(817): Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch. http://tfl.nu/y4b9

Replies (20) Good night (833) Bad night (7028)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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(856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon

Replies (12) Good night (3795) Bad night (645)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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(513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35

Replies (20) Good night (6558) Bad night (1376)
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(478): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.

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(478): I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths. http://tfl.nu/2srv

Replies (38) Good night (10650) Bad night (2242)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

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(321): I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/ccnb

Replies (13) Good night (3602) Bad night (1369)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar

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(215): Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar http://tfl.nu/5i2o

Replies (4) Good night (1304) Bad night (2159)
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(916): View more from California

If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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(916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6

Replies (2) Good night (1369) Bad night (609)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

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(+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u

Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (2003)
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(512): View more from Texas

We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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(512): We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get." http://tfl.nu/dl94

Replies (1) Good night (1540) Bad night (599)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.

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(330): Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/fh7u

Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (476)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk

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(630): Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk http://tfl.nu/5as6

Replies (1) Good night (1217) Bad night (481)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.

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(248): Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed. http://tfl.nu/r0u0

Replies (1) Good night (942) Bad night (706)
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(559): View more from California

You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka

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(559): You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka http://tfl.nu/lf1o

Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (348)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.

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(405): Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky. http://tfl.nu/1s85

Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (383)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.

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(814): I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest. http://tfl.nu/xdou

Replies (4) Good night (150) Bad night (320)

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