we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad