Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2285) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4308) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog. http://tfl.nu/c9by
  Replies (29) Good night (2265) Bad night (4963)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often http://tfl.nu/h345
  Replies (5) Good night (3187) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/5wrj
  Replies (30) Good night (950) Bad night (5180)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (3553)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2841) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on. http://tfl.nu/wqnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1288) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"? (505): yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win. http://tfl.nu/lwrt
  Replies (3) Good night (1912) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you" http://tfl.nu/co0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced. http://tfl.nu/b7p5
  Replies (12) Good night (2940) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor
  Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me. http://tfl.nu/brt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it. http://tfl.nu/ptib
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (155)

Randomize