Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money

(813): View more from Florida

sounds like you understand them just fine

Fav 10 2085 1138
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

Fav 16 902 1720
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

(630): View more from Illinois

I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

Fav 34 1478 2936
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.

Fav 6 5276 950
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.

Fav 6 5178 943
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

Fav 29 1787 8766
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(225): View more from Louisiana

Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

Fav 17 2369 3414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

Fav 2 1003 554
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far

Fav 2 38 60
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT