His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize