alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation