doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
