My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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