I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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