And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Randomize
