my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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