Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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