There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
