This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
