I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize