I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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