I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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