she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
