I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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