So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
