What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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