Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
