Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
