Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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