Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize