butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
organizing the empties. That sober.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
