everyone is single if you try hard enough
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
