btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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