i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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