Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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